WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP

Confession: My heart has been heavy the last few days. And, In moments of discouragement and frustration, it’s really easy for me to lean on the concept, “Maybe I should move out of Michigan!!” Run away! Give up! Quit trying! 

Obviously that is not the answer. But I find it’s okay to acknowledge my humanness and in the midst of these emotions - I also experience encouragement coming my way. Perspective is crystalized and I realize this isn’t my end -- it’s just another refining part of the journey.

A CROWD OF CHEERLEADERS ​
I’m guessing you too often feel discouraged when trying to conquer the mountain of life and change culture. You feel like with every step forward, you take 10 steps backwards and that people who should be making the journey easier were actually making it harder. Or maybe it feels like there are more “doom and gloom” signs than signs of progress, breakthrough and justice for truth, righteousness, and holiness. At least at times. Am I right? Good. I’m not alone.

And yet, here I was this weekend, taking care of a household chore and this scripture kept floating on my heart from Hebrews 12:1, 

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…”

Immediately I started thinking about friends and heroes that have gone before me, standing in the stadiums of Heaven watching me and what I am doing here on earth. I imagine them shouting “Don’t back down or give up yet!!! Keep going!! You can’t see it but you’re almost there! This all matters way too much to quit now!”

I think of

• My friend, Matt Robbins who was a champion for grassroots activism, smart politics, and working to preserve America. And only a year ago left for his Real Home. 
• Chuck Colson: though I never knew him, his words from books even from the 80’s are now giving me nuggets of wisdom and guidance.
• My Grandpa Max who loved this nation so much that when something patriotic arose, he’d have tears in his eyes. This WWII hero knew it was a cause worthy of our sacrifice. 
• All the men and women who fought in WWII that rushed the shores of Normandy … knowing that they had to fight for freedom, fully aware that the moment they took step on shore could be their last but it was worth it for the greater good.
• Corrie Ten Boom, a hero during the Holocaust, hid Jews from Hitler and yet survived a concentration camp. 

Sigh. The threat of giving up - or moving away - or throwing in the towel, sounds so appealing and dramatic. (And who doesn’t love an occasional flare of drama to release some of the stress hormones!!) And yet I recognize - yes, in the moment of clarity and blue skies, the nation I have been given is too significant, the truth upon which I stand is too important, and the generations to come matter too much for me to say “Paatooey! I quit!” 

HEROES OF YESTERDAY
I can’t imagine the tension and agony of John Adams and all his colleagues who were more than likely under great pressure to “get along with England - quit being so stubborn, John! Just this one thing is all they want” Yet he chose the route to “hold your ground for true freedom in America.”

I can’t imagine the agony Abraham Lincoln felt at the horrific treatment of slaves and a nation that was tearing itself apart: could they come to peace, order, and freedom? Families were falling apart. Young people and old people were being killed. Too much blood shed and yet he stood and kept standing. He stood for truth, justice was brought, and he pointed us in a direction to heal. 

What about Harriett Tubman as she worked miracles to move people caught in slavery to the free land. Oh the enemies she must have had! Oh the threats on her life! And yet she kept moving. And she led people to freedom.

Or Lewis and Clark: what torment and hardships they went through on their trip to explore the width of the great America. The trials. The tension. The attitudes. The moods. The disasters. The danger. And yet they arrived and became heroes. And they opened up so many more opportunities for the rest of us. 

And just knowing that we have a “cloud of witnesses” above gives me a reminder that everything we are doing here has bigger and greater consequences. They can see it. And I realize maybe I don’t need to give up - I just need more perseverance.


PERSPECTIVE
There are three things I need to remember and realize in all of this:  

1. I’m human. Humans encounter human disappointments, human sorrows and human brokenness. And it’s okay to feel human. 
2. God is not human. He is bigger than all my (our!) limitations and blunders and mistakes. And perhaps I'm trying too much in my own power to do things. And I need to let God do God. And HIS power overrides my humanity.
3. Also, sorrow of heart is a good thing at times: God wants us to crave for holiness and when a culture is continually mocking things of God and attempting to champion things of sin -- it’s okay for my heart to be sorrowful. At times that is a signal that what I am doing is on the right path or intercession is needed because my heart is feeling a piece of the agony of God’s heart.  

In the midst of this heart sorrow season, when the good is mocked as sin, when sin is framed as beauty and love, when brokenness is sold to us as normal and what is normal is threatened to be non important, we must resolve again - to keep going. 

I came across the scripture that tells me (yes me) that I must be faithful even to the point of death (Revelations 2:10),

"Fear nothing that you are about to suffer. Be aware that the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested [in your faith], and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful to the point of death [if you must die for your faith], and I will give you the crown [consisting] of life."

To be faithful means - persevere in the right way, with God, no matter what you feel. So, to me, that means 

• No giving up 
• No throwing the towel in 
• No complaining over perseverance taking too long 
• No losing sight that GOD IS GOD AND HE IS FAITHFUL

Shooooot. My human psyche would really appreciate moving onto cheery waters - not living in a state where a Governor acts like a Queen, the Progressive and liberal agenda is so encroaching it’s stifling, and many grassroots are still asleep as to what needs to take place to save our state. 

But sometimes I think the solution is this: I am responsible for being obedient to God, not for getting all the other pieces of the puzzle to work right. 

WE HAVE THE BATON 
You and I could name a thousand more people that have gone before us who are standing above us now … cheering us on. Truth be told, we dread the idea of meeting them face to face in eternity and having to admit, “we gave up.” 

Sigh. So, chin up friend. We must press on.

We must keep standing for truth, doing good, and shining light. We must keep smiling and leading with humility and grace. We must dust our knees off and go back into the arena. We must give ourselves moments to cry and eagerly look for things to laugh at. We must rejoice over small victories and daily anticipate good victories ahead. 

You and I know - as do our cheering section in Heaven - that God is on the side of truth, and light, life, and unconditional love. And as long as we are in step with Him - it is always a win, in the end. 

For freedom, truth, and perseverance, 
Amy Hawkins